My Aversion. . .

I continue with my aversion,
For everything including making decisions.

I walk with so many I walk alone,
I walk in time and with a friend who is never gone.

I continue sometimes in disbelief,
To challenge the world and what it all means.

I look at the brightly lit night, as I walk beside you,
Hope there are some things that will get through.

I translate my feelings to make it honest this time,
To make it as close as I could get to feelings that are mine.

I type the questions ,I pause before I press send,
Thinking too much about what it all meant.

No I am not weary, I am not foolish or carried away with time,
I only claim that which I feel will grow onto me to be fine.

Don't ask me what I looking for, I view the question in disbelief,
I try to save the best of me in moments that I try to retrieve.

I download my day, I forward my life,
I paste it on a white board & share it with people to like.

I don't know if the words reaches through to you, why I even write,
Why I am obsessed with explaining myself, the reason I even contrive

And forever thus though the night maybe young, but I too old to disbelief,
That which I have grown & learned from, that which I know defines me.

I am happy this way, knowing that there no reason behind it today,
The weirdest part of this moment, is that I hope to keep it just this way.

I construe, I conspire I complain about life to myself,
I keep looking for the only road that I believe time will show & things will tell.

In beauty that I see, the ones we can appreciate,
Not the one that merely reaches your eyes but one that I hope to replicate.

In so many ways I tell myself I am not conflicted enough,
For everything that may happen tonight, but dear life I will never give up.