In desperation, my inspiration. .

In simply so much as my own desperation,

I look for an insight; I look for my inspiration,

In everyday I find to wrap up the unwound truth about me,

The “me” I seem to be losing to everyday, the one that isn’t free

In unanswered complaints and unanswered mails lies my hidden heart,

In places I don’t look for anymore, places I could never start

I linger in my belief, resting in my choices and my indignation,

I have become but everything, far beyond my imagination.

With hope I stare on at your face, your heart,

I can’t seem to find what I was looking for & yet feel close even if we are apart

I take the first step everyday to be indifferent, one day at a time,

And yet it feels so unfair, as I convince myself this decision isn’t mine

Tomorrow you might find a different day, one that doesn’t bother you any more,

For some reason I will find a different day too, just that I know I will be long gone

I will question my beliefs, every decision I took when you were around,

Because I know it in my head, I can still find in my heart, your undying sound

In the spaces between the lines, the words I write today,

I wish they are looked, and searched for meaning in at least some way.

Tonight you decide to show me how far I am to you, & yet so close you are to mine,

The feeling that won’t go away, as I keep wishing till the end of time

In desperate hopes and dreams I try for a different start,

Only to find my past holds me down, with things I couldn’t understand

The decision was never mine to take, never yours to take,

As I find my desperation, my inspiration and the reason I don’t believe in fate.