My friend undefined . .

I fiddle with my words, my thoughts tonight,

I wonder how to put them true, how do I write

I ponder upon my past, knowing it hard to fight,

I wonder if your try the same, every single night.

I pour myself with questions, and wish for no regrets tonight,

When I look at my friends, and my past losing sight,

So hard to give up sometimes, so hard to give in,

So hard to accept that things change, always from what they have been.

I sit with my doubts, and fears and unwound change,

As I tell you things will often go by, but impressions remain

I sometimes believe that life isn't fair,

I sit with you telling you of moments that are no longer there

I am right there lost and yet sitting by your side,

I know that there are some things I can never abide,

No questions asked today, no complains to tell,

Just an old friend and friendship & an old tale

I may not be a beginning, and may not find you an end,

But all I can offer you is endless time and a wonderful friend.

A friend finds hope in the darkest of time,

And yet that best of friendship remains undefined

My reality sublime. .

I sleep in my warm blanket in this cold winter night,

Watching life change and alter in front of my eyes.

I wrap myself in a peaceful belief,

As I put my heart to rest and put my mind to sleep.

I know there are no explanations; I don't need one too,

Just that my thoughts will always reach out to you.

In my dreams I build my real world tonight,

Because nothing makes sense as I lose your sight.

A long road ahead; at the end of the day,

I am hoping I will be "me"; I'll be different some way.

I look for corners that aren’t stuffy in my heart,

Places I would run to when I didn’t know how to start.

In simple writings I would express my soul,

I would give up on something beautiful, give up on it all

And yet everyday when I make the move ahead in time,

I fail to recognize that you, so close so mine

In frail heartbeats and secrets, let the reasons be there,

Let the reason tell the truth, the truth so sincere

I may not live a life of my own, I may be indifferent at last

But I know I simply gave up on something, but my feelings today I could not cast

In tomorrow when you find me, a friend, a guide, in memories so close

Let me be back to a happy you, let me return to what I chose.

And if the handwritings and photographs could not say a word,

Let me say the first one, as you let me move on, as you let me move forward

Some say distances speak of a heart’s desire, often of things that are never mine,

And yet we write of more sunsets than sunshine, as I look for my reality sublime.

Feels like. . .

Feels like a jolt of lightning passing right through my heart,

Feels likes a fresh morning, and one of life’s kick start.

Feels like evening when the sun sets tonight but the day knows no end,

I look at the glaring sun, on the horizon as though waiting for a friend.

Feels like destiny, feels like the future so changed,

Feels like everything that’s gone, and yet the feeling remains.

Feels like the last fight, like changes and amends that mattered yesterday,

But where do I keep them locked up, where do I find no dismay.

Feels like joining hands once again, sitting down to pray with your heart,

Like a distant wish we get to make, a wish which we don’t know what to ask.

Feels like a faint breath, before a warm handshake, before a hug to comfort me by,

I know I have always been indifferent, just never wished I would try.

Feels like faith so changed, feels like lost time again,

How I wish I could get back at life, with everything that isn’t mundane.

Feels like seasons, like days, like moments in time,

Feels like a different role to play, when I know I did my part, all that was mine.

Feels like many smiles, and warm memories I forever live by,

I will tell you tonight that in my writing you will find me, if you find time just try.

Feels like an advice, a big help, a big change that forever changes life,

I know I felt different, but for a fighting chance I forever will, strive.

Let me just keep the hope, the smile tonight,

No questions asked, no explanations and no worries for a while.

Feels like the leaf, which forever falls so close and yet so far from the tree,

Whether it is a touch, or simply the wind that breaks my fall & leaves me as “me”