Fifteen minutes this year

Just these fifteen minutes let me forget everything ahead,

Just let my past be the last thought to put me to bed.

Just these fifteen minutes let me not have a conflict in my mind,

Let me simply let go of all the fights I have left behind.

Just these fifteen minutes let my words search for meaning tonight,

As I look for my soul and what I have become in my own sight.

Just these fifteen minutes let me not be guilty any more,

Let me be rid of all the burdens that I drag along, as I swim for shore

Just this fifteen minutes, let the smell, the taste of yesterday forever linger in my heart,

Just keep me moving on and reminding me when and where to start.

 

Just these fifteen minutes, let there be true meaning to unfold,

As I look back upon all that has been and all that remains untold.

Just these fifteen minutes let my regrets, my anguish find absolution,

Just this once, in my past let me find my bit of inspiration.

Just this once when I know the day is no longer here to remind me all that’s left behind,

Let me simply have hope in my heart, and believe tomorrow will bring a new sunshine

Just these fifteen minutes let me remember my rhythm my song,

And just this once let me find someone to sing along,just this once.

Just these fifteen minutes even if nothing changes ahead,

Let me keep moving on, and hoping there’s a different plan for me instead.

Just these fifteen minutes let me have faith, let me believe in wishes for real,

As I look in my past, in my good and bad times, let my path reveal

Just these fifteen minutes as I tread upon my lonely footsteps tonight,

Let me just find a reason in my heart, for which I knew I put up a fight

Just these fifteen minutes as the year comes to an end and the new one begins,

Let me let go; of what’s yesterday and hope to find what remains unseen

The Human Addiction

I wonder about this human connection

I question whether it’s possible to have a human addiction

Whether on some level, we all find that; which is but different,

Somewhere, somehow just a feeling that stays dormant.

I find a different reason, to be with or without,

And yet I find no reasons for the feelings that change & the thoughts that surround.

Different choices every day, the difference we make in each other’s lives,

And often unseen, and the changes for which we seem to strive.

To be ourselves with someone, to be different and yet who we are,

To live our dreams as though it matters most; when we are far.

I pack my bags tonight; and leave out everything that matters around you,

And yet my addiction grows with days, as I can’t see to reach through.

I can’t think of a better reason to tell you why I need an explanation,

I cannot shake this feeling that you aren’t there, and yet I am addicted to this allegation.

I think of a reason whether it’s possible to be bored tonight,

With the people who mattered to me, who’s definition I fail to revive.

I choose not to look at places I was, & the people I chose,

As I find my life awakened and my day coming to a close.

I sit back in my room today and wait for my feelings to subside,

Whether I am addicted to another human; never crosses my mind.

In every way and every step of the feeling that aren’t true,

I often look for answers, one’s that no longer reaches out to you.

I wait for things to get better, to see if things are different today,

I just seem to love the addiction much more and the feeling that I’ll be “okay”.

In desperation, my inspiration. .

In simply so much as my own desperation,

I look for an insight; I look for my inspiration,

In everyday I find to wrap up the unwound truth about me,

The “me” I seem to be losing to everyday, the one that isn’t free

In unanswered complaints and unanswered mails lies my hidden heart,

In places I don’t look for anymore, places I could never start

I linger in my belief, resting in my choices and my indignation,

I have become but everything, far beyond my imagination.

With hope I stare on at your face, your heart,

I can’t seem to find what I was looking for & yet feel close even if we are apart

I take the first step everyday to be indifferent, one day at a time,

And yet it feels so unfair, as I convince myself this decision isn’t mine

Tomorrow you might find a different day, one that doesn’t bother you any more,

For some reason I will find a different day too, just that I know I will be long gone

I will question my beliefs, every decision I took when you were around,

Because I know it in my head, I can still find in my heart, your undying sound

In the spaces between the lines, the words I write today,

I wish they are looked, and searched for meaning in at least some way.

Tonight you decide to show me how far I am to you, & yet so close you are to mine,

The feeling that won’t go away, as I keep wishing till the end of time

In desperate hopes and dreams I try for a different start,

Only to find my past holds me down, with things I couldn’t understand

The decision was never mine to take, never yours to take,

As I find my desperation, my inspiration and the reason I don’t believe in fate.